Belgians are Ballers

Ok, so some of you may already know this, but for those that don't - Belgian Beers are "in" for 2K10. That being said, we have taken it upon ourselves to sample as many Belgian beers as we can this year. This endeavor has already brought us on a few trips to Corridor Wine & Spirits in Laurel, MD, which is like a Walmart of alcohol. They have a pretty extensive selection of Belgian imports and we have started to whittle our way through the list.

It just so happened that a few weeks ago, Brad was browsing a beer forum and saw that Max's in Fells Point was having a 3-day Belgian Beer Festival. Since we had Stage 5 Cabin Fever from the blizzard, we decided to venture into the city to see what it was all about. Jess, Brad and I made the trip early Saturday afternoon and found that there was a line wrapped around the corner. Not exactly what we expected to see, but since we had made the trip we thought we should at least wait it out and get a beer. Once inside, we managed to squeeze our way through the jam-packed crowd and got a round of beers. Considering that there were over 300 beers to choose from (all Belgians) half of which had been sold out, it was difficult to place an order. Brad had prepared a short list of beers he wanted to try, so we picked what we could from that. I got a Scaldis Ale which is a Strong Ale weighing in at 12% abv. That's a lot of alcohol for one glass. Surprisingly, it didn't taste like it at all. In fact, it was delicious. Much more drinkable than many other lighter weight Belgians I have had.

After just 1 round, we were all feeling a bit tipsy. We had shown up with empty stomachs with the intent of ordering food off their "special" Belgian-style menu. The problem was that the bar was so crowded, there were no open tables. After an hour of standing around, soaking in the atmosphere and soaking our livers in Belgian's finest, Jess went on a mission to find us a table. Luckily, she found one that was PERFECT. It was tucked away behind the back bar and RIGHT next to the bathrooms. Baller. With our claim staked, we settled in for the long haul and ordered some burgers and more beer. We devoured the burgers and savored the beer. There was a dude from Glen Burnie drinking out of a 2 liter (yes LITER) Stella Artois glass. Of course, Jess got her picture holding the giant thing.

A few hours later, we decided that it was time to go. We had emptied our wallets and filled our stomachs... well not quite. I managed to stop at Maggie Moo's for a cup of RED VELVET ice cream - in the middle of winter. It was spectacular. We had smuggled out all of our empty bottles in Jess' purse to keep as souvenirs and we stumbled back to the parking garage. Brad decided he had to urinate, so what better place than next to his car, right? We dropped Jess off in Federal Hill to hang with her friend, Ashley, and Brad and I went back home. We had every intent on keeping the party train going, but after a frozen pizza, more beers and some chicken tenders, Brad was DONE (at 8pm).

Oh yeah, apologies for the crappy iPhone photos.










FITG.

I can see clearly now...

In England, when a car gets to 3 years of age, it needs to go through what is known as an 'MOT'. Or what people refer to as 'getting tested'. It is essentially a mandatory test to ensure it is safe and roadworthy to be used on Her Majesty's highways.

The points that it covers is thus:



The body and vehicle structure

Is free from excessive corrosion or damage in specific areas and there are no sharp edges likely to cause injury.

The fuel System

Has no leaks and the fuel cap fastens and seals securely. The fuel cap will need to be opened so be sure the key is available.

The exhaust emissions

The vehicle meets the requirements for exhaust emissions, dependent on the age and fuel type of the vehicle.

The exhaust system

Is secure, complete, without serious leaks and silences effectively.

The seat belts

All belts installed are checked for type, condition, operation and security. All compulsory seat belts must be in place.

The seats

The front seats are secure. Front and rear backseats can be secured in the upright position.

Components to be inspected

The doors

Latch securely in closed position. Front doors should open from inside and outside the vehicle. Rear doors may need to be opened to gain access to testable items.

The mirrors

The minimum numbers are on the vehicle, their condition and security.

Load security

Boot or tailgate can be secured in the closed position.

The brakes

Their condition, operation and performance (efficiency test). Note the removal of the road wheels is not part of the test.

The tyres and wheels

Their condition, security, size, type and tread depth. Spare tyres are not inspected.

The registration plates

Their condition, security, characters correctly formed and spaced.

The lights

Their condition, operation and security. Headlamps for aim.

The bonnet

Securely latches in the closed position.

The wipers and washers

Operate to give the driver a clear view ahead.

The windscreen

Its condition and the driver’s view of the road.

The horn

Operates correctly and is of a suitable type.

The steering and suspension

Are of a satisfactory condition and operation.

The vehicle identification number (VIN)

Is on vehicles first used on or after 1 August 1980. Not more than one different VIN is displayed except on multistage build vehicles.

Quite a comprehensive list.

A week after I took possession of the Civic, the inevitable happened. Some bastard threw something out of their car window heading in the other direction. BANG! I thought some wankstain was shooting at me, but no it was just something hard hitting my windscreen, taking a crater out of it the size of Tiger Wood's divorce fund.

Over the next few days, this crater cracked the screen, right across the driver's view. Making it an MOT fail. Without an MOT, the car would seen be illegal to drive on the roads.

Crap.

Replacing it was thus a necessity, and because my insurance coverage wouldn't pay for it, the scrill had to come out of my own back burner.

The 2 guys showed up, and shit went down.

First things first, remove the trim clips around the windscreen.





Ready the new glass.





Cut the old glue, this is a PITA job.





Remove the wiper arms and lower trim panel.





Push the glass out from the inside. Incidentally, these two dudes were sound as a pound, and I would recommend http://www.jayswindscreens.co.uk/ to anyone. Shameless plug....





Now your screen is totally removed! I was tempted to take it for a spin, and pretend I was from ye olden dayes when people wore goggles and had those *parp parp!* horns.





Now it's time to scrape off and remove all the old shitty glue.









Application of new glue in progress.








Time now for the new glass to be placed.





Everything is back in place and looking DICK MISSILE!



Give the car a fucking good clean, and you're ready to go cruising the local high school picking up sluts.





NBD.

Painting Some Furniture - Part 3 & 4: Painting and Distressing

I had the whole week off work due to this "Snowpocalypse" or whatever all the kids are calling it. Let me just say, while I enjoyed having the week off, I am looking forward to going back to work and not being confined to the house any longer. Also, it will be nice to say goodbye to the incessant snow-related facebook status updates. It snowed a lot. WE GET IT. Anyway, on Tuesday I was able to venture out before the second storm hit and pick up some paint for my project. I went to Sherwin-Williams because I was told by Cassie (the chick that I purchased the dresser from) that was where she purchased the paint. She had used their Harmony line in a satin finish, but I needed something a little bit more durable for these pieces. I ended up getting their ProClassic Interior Acrylic Latex in a semi-gloss finish for added durability. Luckily, Cassie also remembered the color she used - Snowbound. A bit ironic, I must say! I bought a gallon, which is probably more than I need, but I'll always have plenty to use on other projects or touch-ups in the future.

Part 3: Painting

Like I said in the previous entry on Priming, a good brush goes a long way. I purchased some nice Wooster brushes that I've been pretty happy with. The downside to glossy finishes is that they show all of the flaws in your painting. If you over-work the paint, you can really see it. The trick is really to put down a nice even coat and then just LET IT BE. Sure, there will be some streaking and brush strokes, but don't worry about it. The paint will level out nicely if you just let it do its thing. Another thing that I decided to do was use some masking tape to help preserve the mitered corners of the table. I ended up doing 2 coats, allowing a few hours between. No big deal, especially when you're snowed in.

Part 4: Distressing

I let the paint dry for a full 24 hours before I started distressing it. Distressing is pretty easy. Depending on what you're doing, there are many different techniques to use. I've read that people use anything from ice picks to chains in order to get a worn/distressed look. Well, I just used some sandpaper. I used some medium grit paper to remove paint all the way down to the original dark-stained wood, then I smoothed things over with some fine grit paper. I also used the fine grit paper over the entire piece to dull out the glossy finish a bit. The sanding helped to smooth out the brush strokes and created an unexpected effect. Now the high spots on the strokes are dull, but the low spots are still glossy. I really like the way that it looks. I tried not to get too carried away with the distressing and only did enough to accent the edges of the piece.

So here is the final product. I still have to tackle the coffee table, but this was a good learning experience.


Here you can see the new wood insert I used instead of the original glass.




Here is my piece alongside the dresser I bought from Cassie. They match perfectly!

Before/After

Baller Craftsmanship

My friend and fellow blogmate, Chris, works for a custom home builder. They specialize in really high-end projects, basically meaning that they only build homes for millionaires (or if you are in Mumbai, MILLENAIRES). So what does this have to do with me? Well, Chris' company works with a particularly baller individual who owns and operates his own wood mill. He makes all sorts of custom pieces ranging from cabinets to trim to desks. I recently found myself in need of some custom items for my furniture project and Chris came through for me big time. NBD.

You might recall that the coffee table and end table that I am working on have glass inlays which serve as the main surface of the furniture. I'm not really down with this look and anyway, glass can break. I've been dreading the day that someone throws their feet up on the table and CRASH - they put their heel right through the glass. Hey, it could happen. I thought it would be a good idea to replace the glass with something more durable and that could be painted to match. Wood sounds like a grand idea. The pieces of glass are roughly 1/4 inch thick. I picked Chris' brain about what would be best suited for this type of application. We decided that a simple 1/4" piece of plywood wouldn't be great because thin plywood warps really easily and isn't very strong. We also decided that a 1/4" piece of solid wood would be expensive and difficult to come by. That type of thing would probably need to be milled down or cut from something thicker anyway. Chris came up with the idea to make a matching rabbeted piece that would mate with the rabbeted surface of the tables.

What is a rabbet? It's not a little furry animal with big ears that eats carrots. It's a groove that is cut out of the edge of a piece of wood, normally for the purpose of mating it with another surface. Think of Tetris.

We decided this was the way to go because we could use a thicker piece of wood for added strength and less likelihood of warping, but it would still sit flush with the surface of the table. Pretty simple, but not something that I have the experience or the tools to accomplish. Chris said he'd ask their wood-guy if he could cut up some pieces to the specs I needed. I drew up a sketch using Adobe Illustrator and sent it off to Chris.



As you can see, I needed three pieces, each 16x16 inches and then a fourth piece measuring 16x22 inches. They would need to be 3/4" thick with a 1/4" rabbet cut into the edges.


Later on that evening, Chris came by my house with the four pieces of plywood all beautifully cut. Very baller indeed.

Painting Some Furniture - Part 2: Primer

So, we've gotten a lot of snow over the past week. Record breaking, actually. I think. In any case, I have not been to work since last Thursday and I'm not complaining. My back isn't thanking me for the beating I gave it while shoveling 3 feet of snow from the walkway, sidewalk, driveway, street and neighbors houses. On the plus side, all this idle time has helped my furniture project to progress.

Part 2 - Primer

After doing some online research, I found the general consensus is to use an Oil-Based Primer for stained woods. I was also told by the guy at Sherwin-Williams that another suitable product is an Adhesion Primer, which is one of their products. This was after I had already picked up a gallon of Kilz Odorless Primer, so maybe I'll try the Adhesion Primer after I run out. Along with this paint/primer research, I've also been doing some research on paint brushes. Brushes are like any other tool - they are specialized to different applications and you get what you pay for. I learned that when working with Oil-Based products, the brush you want to use is a Black China Bristle brush. These are natural fiber brushes which are nice and stiff and hold their shape when wet.

This was the first time I have used an Oil-Based product, and I have to admit it's kind of a pain in the ass. First of all, it took FOREVER to mix. When I initially popped the lid off the can, there was a clear film of oil sitting on top of the paint. Despite my best efforts and about 10 minutes of constant stirring IT WAS STILL THERE! The only way I was able to get any type of pigment onto my brush was by dipping the stirring stick into the can and pulling up paint from the bottom. Still, the primer went on very thin and I ended up needing about 4 coats. The nice thing about oil paints is that if you screw up and over-work the paint or get some nasty streaks, all you need to do is wipe down the problem spot with a rag and some paint thinner. By the way, that is also how you clean your brush (and your hands) - paint thinner. I kept a little bucket of paint thinner handy to soak my brush after each coat.

Here is the piece with about 4 coats of primer.

Its a little tight

A big part of my off season maintenance is a valve check/adjustment. Ducati engines are pretty unique in that they use a desmodromic valve actuation. Like many modern engines, the desmo system uses an overhead camshaft design. However, the most unique feature of the desmo system is that it DOESNT use springs to close the valves. Instead, a desmo engine uses an opposite, closer cam lobe. This closer cam lobe provides a very specific and controlled way of closing the valve. Benefits to this system include highly defined, and consistent engine breathing, along with the elimination of valve float. The desmodromic system has enabled Ducati twin cylinder engines to produce more horsepower and higher revs as compared to conventional twin cylinders.

One of the drawbacks to the desmo system is its relatively short adjustment periods. While most motorcycles require valve adjustments every 15k miles or more, Ducati suggests checking theirs every 6k. Since my 748 is a race bike that spends 99% of its life at redline or on its way there, I like to check/adjust mine every year.

To start, I set the crank to TDC on the horizontal cylinder. Then remove the cam belts to free up the cams. It is important that all measurements be taken at TDC when all valves are at rest. Next, the valve covers came of exposing the valvetrain. Now its time for measurements.

The first measurements are the opener gaps (or unloaded gap). This is the distance between the opening rocker and the valve. This gap must be within a specified distance or damage to the valves may occur. Not to mention, out of spec valves drastically reduce combustion effiency. Using feeler gauges, I measured all the opener gaps and recorded the numbers. Measuring the closer gap is a bit more tricky. I use a 8mm nut driver to push down on the edge of the closing rocker to engage the cam thus exposing the closer gap to the opener. Basically by pushing down on the closing rocker the opener gap increases by the amount of the closer gap. This is the loaded gap. Once I get a loaded gap, the unloaded gap is subtracted to get the precise closer gap.

The measurement from my motor (mm)

Vertical Cylinder

Intake Exhaust

L R L R

Open 0.12 0.10 0.17 0.15

Close 0.15 0.16 0.09 0.05

Horizontal Cylinder

Intake Exhaust

L R L R

Open 0.10 0.08 0.16 0.15

Close 0.17 0.17 0.09 0.07

Most of the gaps are within spec short of the exhaust closers which are a little on the tight side. Ideally, all the gaps should be about 0.10-0.15mm. So it seems a few shims are going to need replacement.

Drivers Ed - Making a Left Turn

So the other night, Jess and I were watching the Travel Channel (which has become a new staple at the Gladhill residence) and we saw a preview for a new show called "America's Worst Driver." We immediately thought of a few people we'd like to nominate, but as we continued to watch, it became apparent that the show is designed purely for entertainment and will serve no real purpose in helping to rid our roads of bad drivers. The people on the show are total assclowns - one woman was trying to cut her own hair while driving. My guess is that 90% of it is completely staged and teeters on the edge of unrealistic and fake. Unfortunately, the sad truth is that the majority of people on the road are horrible drivers... maybe not on the same level as the idiots on the show, but it is the everyday Joe Schmoe that is the real pain in your ass, not the woman cutting her bangs behind the wheel.

I'm considering this a Public Service to give people a friendly lesson on how to be a competent driver, so expect more of these in the future. I don't want to overload your brains with too much realness and knowledge all at once, so I'll limit it to one topic at a time. Let me just say this - a car is a dangerous thing. We have come to treat it as an accessory that we just mindlessly use on a daily basis. But in all reality, it has the capacity to kill yourself and other people around you. This does not mean we should be scared of it, but it damn sure means that we should know how to operate and control it with confidence. It is a horrifying thought to consider that you are putting your own life in the hands of thousands of people around you every time you are on the road. Obviously, we can't control the actions of other people, but we are in full control of our own actions. So this is all the more reason that we should be capable and confident in our own abilities behind the wheel.

Lesson 1 - The Left Turn

In America, we drive on the right side of the road. This means that when we make a right hand turn, we do not need to cross any traffic, we simply continue on with the flow of things. However, when we make a left turn things become slightly more complicated. In order to successfully execute a left turn, we must first cross over at least 1 lane of on-coming traffic. This maneuver proves to be nearly IMPOSSIBLE for some people. I'm sure you have found yourself stuck behind an individual waiting to make a turn for what seems to be an eternity. As your frustration builds and you start screaming or honking your horn, you probably don't take a moment to realize that the seemingly incompetent driver is actually paralyzed by fear. Yes, that's right. I am willing to bet that most bad drivers can blame fear and apprehension (leading to indecision) for their ghastly driving. You might notice the tell-tale sign of head bobbing, as they frantically look back and forth to see if there is room to merge into traffic. Really, it is not that difficult. Let me explain.


This is the way my father explained it me when I was learning to drive. He always has a very logical approach to everything, and to me, it makes perfect sense. The problem with the left turn is that you have two directions of traffic you need to take into account. When you make a right turn, you only need to worry about one direction. Most people will keep looking back and forth trying to judge the proper time to make the turn. The problem with this is that it's nearly impossible for your mind to calculate speeds/distances of both sets of traffic simultaneously. The solution is so simple. As you can see in the diagram above, the traffic in the lane you are crossing is represented by the red arrow, while the traffic in the lane you are entering is shown in blue. You'll notice that the red arrow is also larger than the blue one. This was done to illustrate the importance of the left traffic because this is where you need to look first. My dad told me, "look to your left because these are the cars that are going to hit you first." Straight-up, real-ass T. It can't be said any simpler than that - there is no need to look to your right because the cars on your left are the ones that are your immediate danger. Once you have found a suitable gap to cross the traffic on your left, now you can look to your right. If it's clear, then you proceed. If not, then you go back to watching the traffic on your left. No need to break your neck looking back and forth like a moron. There you have it.

Hair Monsters From The Deep

This morning I was taking a shower and as per usual, there was a nice ring of hair around the drain, leftover from my loving girlfriend. While it's great having a girlfriend with beautiful, thick, naturally wavy hair... it does tend to get EVERYWHERE, especially in the shower. After I was done, I picked up the wad of hair and noticed something else lurking in the shadows of the drain. I needed to investigate. I dried off and came back with a screwdriver so I could take off the drain grate. This was sort of a pain in the ass, as the screws were filled in with grout. I had to use a tiny jeweler's screwdriver to pick all the grout out before the phillips head driver would fit in. Once I had the grate off, I peered down into the black hole. There was a little rope of twisted hair clinging on for dear life to a burr on the inside wall of the drain. I couldn't help but think of last night's season premier of LOST, where Sawyer is desperately grasping Juliet's arm to keep her from falling down the drill shaft... maybe because they showed it like FOUR TIMES in a span of 10 minutes. Anyway, I pulled on the little hair-rope and could not believe what was attached to the end of it! It was a GIANT soapy ball of hair! I mean, this thing took up the entire diameter of the pipe. It was literally the size of a small rodent. I had always wondered what happened to the hairs that managed to get down through the grate. Now I knew. This called for a solution.

In the past, I have used those rubbery/plastic things that you just place over top of the drain to catch hair. Well, those things are a pain in the ass, and furthermore, they look pretty stupid too. To be quite honest, they are utterly useless in a shower where you are standing over top the drain the entire time. Unless it has little suction cups on the bottom, it just gets kicked around and slides all over the place. I suppose that in a tub, it's slightly better as the drain isn't directly under your feet.


Example of stupid rubber hair trap.

I wanted a better solution, something that I wouldn't have to worry about stepping on and that wouldn't really be visible. So big F'ing surprise - I went to Lowe's. I was looking for something in the way of a metal or plastic screen that I could place UNDER the drain grate, where it would not be seen and more importantly, would not be felt or kicked around the shower. I was in luck. I found a product that was pretty much exactly what I was looking for, and only cost $2.97. Sold.

I came back home and removed the grate from the drain. Once the grate was off, I test fitted the new screen. It was slightly too large, so I cut off the outer ring of the grate and it fit perfectly. I simply screwed the grate back on and VOILA! Now I know what you're thinking - that it's going to be a pain in the ass to clean out the hair trap because I'll have to take the grate off every single time blah blah blah. Well, yeah... that's true. But if you know me, then you know I welcome ANY opportunity to take something apart. Plus, there are only 2 screws, so BFD.

The solution is great.
1. No hair is getting through that screen.
2. The hair trap isn't going anywhere.
3. It's virtually invisible.


$2.97 from good ol' Lowe's


A little bit too big.


Trimmed to fit. NBD.


Baller.