Hair Monsters From The Deep

This morning I was taking a shower and as per usual, there was a nice ring of hair around the drain, leftover from my loving girlfriend. While it's great having a girlfriend with beautiful, thick, naturally wavy hair... it does tend to get EVERYWHERE, especially in the shower. After I was done, I picked up the wad of hair and noticed something else lurking in the shadows of the drain. I needed to investigate. I dried off and came back with a screwdriver so I could take off the drain grate. This was sort of a pain in the ass, as the screws were filled in with grout. I had to use a tiny jeweler's screwdriver to pick all the grout out before the phillips head driver would fit in. Once I had the grate off, I peered down into the black hole. There was a little rope of twisted hair clinging on for dear life to a burr on the inside wall of the drain. I couldn't help but think of last night's season premier of LOST, where Sawyer is desperately grasping Juliet's arm to keep her from falling down the drill shaft... maybe because they showed it like FOUR TIMES in a span of 10 minutes. Anyway, I pulled on the little hair-rope and could not believe what was attached to the end of it! It was a GIANT soapy ball of hair! I mean, this thing took up the entire diameter of the pipe. It was literally the size of a small rodent. I had always wondered what happened to the hairs that managed to get down through the grate. Now I knew. This called for a solution.

In the past, I have used those rubbery/plastic things that you just place over top of the drain to catch hair. Well, those things are a pain in the ass, and furthermore, they look pretty stupid too. To be quite honest, they are utterly useless in a shower where you are standing over top the drain the entire time. Unless it has little suction cups on the bottom, it just gets kicked around and slides all over the place. I suppose that in a tub, it's slightly better as the drain isn't directly under your feet.


Example of stupid rubber hair trap.

I wanted a better solution, something that I wouldn't have to worry about stepping on and that wouldn't really be visible. So big F'ing surprise - I went to Lowe's. I was looking for something in the way of a metal or plastic screen that I could place UNDER the drain grate, where it would not be seen and more importantly, would not be felt or kicked around the shower. I was in luck. I found a product that was pretty much exactly what I was looking for, and only cost $2.97. Sold.

I came back home and removed the grate from the drain. Once the grate was off, I test fitted the new screen. It was slightly too large, so I cut off the outer ring of the grate and it fit perfectly. I simply screwed the grate back on and VOILA! Now I know what you're thinking - that it's going to be a pain in the ass to clean out the hair trap because I'll have to take the grate off every single time blah blah blah. Well, yeah... that's true. But if you know me, then you know I welcome ANY opportunity to take something apart. Plus, there are only 2 screws, so BFD.

The solution is great.
1. No hair is getting through that screen.
2. The hair trap isn't going anywhere.
3. It's virtually invisible.


$2.97 from good ol' Lowe's


A little bit too big.


Trimmed to fit. NBD.


Baller.